Welcome to motherhood. As you adjust to your new life with your baby and your new identity as a mother, it can be incredibly challenging and overwhelming. While this can be a beautiful and exciting experience, it can also be filled with uncertainty and a sense of isolation. You have probably heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child” but what does it mean to have a village? What if you don’t have this magical village?
“It takes a village to raise a child but it also takes a village to support a mother.” ―
Unknown
What is a this magical village, anyway?
How do you find one? Do they just show up one day or is there a special number you call….
The simple answer is your village is where you can turn for support, guidance, love and compassion whilst you navigate motherhood. How your village looks will be unique to you.
From adjusting to your new role, dealing with the lack of sleep and sudden change in lifestyle, the transition to motherhood can be challenging. Having a support system in the form of other mothers, who understand what you are going through, can be invaluable. Building a village of other mothers to rely on can be a great source of support. It can help you to feel less alone and overwhelmed, provide advice, and make sure you have someone to talk to when needed.
When you are a new mum, it can be overwhelming to figure out where to start in searching for your village. Thankfully, there are ways to meet other new mothers and find the support and guidance that you need. Finding your “village” of other new mothers is one of the most important things you can do.
How do I find my village?
No matter how you choose to meet other new mothers, it’s important to remember the importance of having a supportive village. Having other mothers who understand what you are going through can make all the difference in your journey as a new mother. Having a community of other mothers to turn to can help you feel less alone and make the journey of motherhood a little bit easier. With a little bit of effort, you can find your village and gain a life-long friends.
- Connect with friends and family. If you have friends or family who are also new mothers, reach out to them. It’s a great place to start when building your village.
- Join a local mothers’ group. This can be a great way to make long-term friends with other new mothers. These groups provide a safe space to ask questions and share experiences. They often meet regularly and is a great way to meet other new mothers in your local area. You can often find these groups through your local hospital or child health nurse, churches and local community centres or libraries. There are also groups like our very own Mumma Tribe that offer a program that includes connecting you with special guest speakers in local professional supports such as sleep consultants, lactation consultants, physiotherapists and much more to provide an extra level of support.
- Check online. Social media and other online forums for new mothers can be another opportunity to connect with other new mothers. Look for groups in your local area for community events like playgroups and online groups to chat with other new mothers. These can be great resources for connecting with other new mothers from all over the world. It can be a great way to hear stories from other mothers, and to get support and understanding when you need it most. Just remember social media can also be a place for unwanted advice so choose a space that lifts you up, not brings your down. Always check the advice with your trusted health professional such as your Maternal Child Health Nurse, General Practitioner or other suitably qualified professionals.
- Apps such as Peanut, Social Mama and Playdate Australia are just a few examples of apps for new mothers where you can connect with other mothers in your area. There are also some other great communities online through organisations that support early parenting such as Milk & Moon, The Gidget Foundation or Australian Breastfeeding Association which also often have in person get togethers in local areas.
- Attend baby classes or activities. Baby classes, such as baby massage classes, music & sensory classes, Baby Rhyme time, swimming lessons or maybe a mom and baby yoga classes, are a great way to meet other new mothers who live in your area. These are often a wonderful opportunity to meet regularly with the same group of mothers enrolled in the class or activity, giving you more time to get to know each other and deepen relationships.
Still sounds quite daunting doesn’t it. Here’s a few more tips for building your village.
- Be Yourself. You’ll connect better with other new mums when you are genuine about your motherhood journey. Be honest about your struggles, joys and experiences. Don’t be ashamed to celebrate your wins and a listening ear for the struggles.
- Be Kind. All new mothers are learning and doing the very best they can. Sometimes the way we do things might be different and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean one way is better than the other. Encourage and support each other rather than judging. A supportive & compassionate community is a strong community.
- Be Brave. It can be really confronting putting yourself out there trying to make connections with new people. “Hey, I have a baby and you have a baby, we should be best friends…” Just remember they are probably just as nervous and unsure as you so just go for it. You never know what might happen.
- Be open minded. Sometimes you’ll find your people where you least expect it. Embrace differences. Meeting other mothers from different backgrounds, with different parenting styles and experiences can be an opportunity to see a different perspective and teach us new things.
Remember you are more than just a mother. Shared interests and hobbies can be a great way to build connections. Maybe you could even try something new?
Your village is for you and whilst it can be amazing watching your little ones grow and become friends, this village is for you as the mother. It doesn’t really matter if the mother you meet has older or younger children, they are a first-time mother or maybe it’s their latest addition to their family. Sometimes it can be beneficial to have support from someone a bit further along the journey. Motherhood has an amazing ability to break down barriers and find common ground.
Prioritise time for these new friendships. Motherhood can be overwhelming and exhausting, making it easy to let socialising slip down the to do list. But remember maintaining friendships is essential for your well-being and mental health. Make an effort to plan catch ups, even if it’s just a quick coffee.
Lastly, a village doesn’t have to be a big group of new mum friends. Your village might be just one special person you can trust and rely on for support. Whatever your village looks like it really can help to make the transition into motherhood much easier. With the right support, you can have the strength and confidence to go through this journey with ease and joy.
